Feelings Don’t Hold Up. Paper Does.
A free fact-only incident log and evidence inventory
If you've ever been told you were overreacting - that you remember it wrong, that it wasn't like that, that you're too sensitive - this is for you.
Covert abuse doesn't leave marks. It leaves you doubting your own memory. That isn't a side effect. That's the design.
And here's what nobody tells you until you're already in it: when it comes down to your word against theirs, your feelings will get dismissed.
Records won't.
Six pages. Purple and gold, because I made it for women like us.
It's the thing I wish someone had handed me at the beginning - a place to write down what happened, in facts, with dates, before the details blur together and you start wondering if you imagined it.
Inside:
✦ Five rules for documenting - how to write it down so it actually holds up
✦ Two incident log pages - date, time, what happened, who saw it
✦ An evidence inventory - twelve things to gather, with tick boxes
✦ A backup checklist - three copies, in three places, so it can't disappear
✦ Printable and digital
Five minutes per entry. That's the whole ask.
How to use it
Write what happened. Not how it felt.
"He arrived at my work at 6:40pm and sat in the lot until 9:15. My kitchen manager saw him." - that holds up.
"He was being creepy and scaring me again" - that's true, and it won't help you.
Keep your feelings. Put them somewhere else. This page stays clean.
Who this is for
✦ Women who are being told they're imagining it
✦ Women who left and are still dealing with it
✦ Women facing accusations they know aren't true
✦ Anyone who's been made to doubt what they saw with their own eyes
You don't have to be planning anything. You don't have to know what you'll do with it. You just have to write it down while you still remember it clearly.
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You will not win by being believed.
You will win by being impossible to argue with.
This is an organizing tool, not legal advice. If you are facing accusations, court proceedings, or you are in danger, get a licensed attorney in your state - and bring this log with you. The people who fare best are the ones who walk in organized.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233
Text START to 88788 · thehotline.org
24/7, free, confidential
A safety note: if someone has access to your phone, email, or computer, download this somewhere they can't see. A library computer, a friend's device, or an email address they don't know about. thehotline.org has a quick-exit button and guidance on safe browsing.
